When we talk about honesty in relationships, our mind often goes straight to deception. We think about it in terms of whether or not someone lies to their partner. Or how often they lie. Or what kinds of lies they tell.
When we examine our authenticity or honesty in a relationship, it’s helpful to ask ourselves questions like: – Can I be truthful and open with my partner about what I think and feel? – Am I willing to say everything that’s on my mind when it matters?
It should be said that obviously no one needs to say every thought that enters their head to their partner. Being honest isn’t about being hurtful, overly critical, or righteous. It’s possible to be sensitive to another person’s feelings while being truthful about our own.
The best way to create this more open, honest line of communication is to cultivate a curious and non-judgmental attitude in ourselves. This can clearly be something more easily said than done.
Honesty is very much about the ability to be ourselves. It means showing all the different sides of who we are and making our actions meet our words.
Don’t get me wrong, honesty should never be used as an avenue for acting out or allowing ourselves to mistreat our partner just because we’re in a bad mood in a given moment.
All of this may sound like a simplified principle to follow, but so often, our focus when it comes to honesty between couples turns the conversation to things like scrolling through a partner’s phone,