After pointing out how your husband or wife is very different now compared to how they acted when you first started dating, I will now give you six little ways to help you start to like your spouse more. You are about to get schooled.
Here’s the worst thing to do: Your friend: "My husband just bought me a new car!" You: "Oh yeah, well mine just bought me a blender! Ha ha! Yeesh, your husband sounds awesome."
Here’s what you just did: (a) made your friend feel awesome (b) sabotaged your marriage by making yourself focus on your husband’s disappointing qualities (here, maybe he’s not Mr. Grand Gesture). You can make your friend feel awesome by saying, "Wow, that’s so awesome!
You know what, you used to act a lot differently too. If you finally read Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples like I keep telling you to, you will see that nobody intentionally acts better at the start of a relationship.
I mean, you do, but you’re not like, "Hey, I’m going to pretend to be fun-loving and spontaneous and not Type A to really screw with my potential partner, and then once I have ensnared them, I will revert to being shrewish and rigid.
Especially if you don’t want to, because it’s outside your comfort zone. So, have more sex, or talk more. Think outside the box. Buy your wife a commissioned portrait of her cat if that’s going to make her smile. Or draw one yourself.
Or bake your husband a cake and put tickets to a football game inside it. Or a gift certificate for oral sex. In a Ziploc bag, obviously. You get the drift.
You say your spouse sucks, but maybe they just suck when you’re in the same old horrible rut. Maybe there are still some new things you can enjoy with your spouse.
Try some, without the kids. And while you’re there, act as nice as you used to when you were dating. If this doesn’t help your spouse to act his or her best, I’d be surprised.