Ways Narcissists Use Shame To Control You

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A narcissist will retell another person's story adding their own flare of additional shame. This can be done in front of others or privately.

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They claim they're trying to 'keep you humble,' but really, they're humiliating you.

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Narcissists love to gather information about a person and store it away for later abuse. They use their charm to entice a person to share confidential details, especially ones that caused the other person embarrassment.

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They gather information about you, then use it against you.

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No one is perfect... except for the narcissist. The narcissist is very good at identifying the faults of others and even better at passive-aggressively commenting on them. This is a way of putting the other person "in their place.

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They exaggerate your faults.

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Narcissists are talented at exasperating others and then using their reactions as justification for becoming the real victim. Regardless of how hard the narcissist incited the other person, the angry reaction to the provocation is viewed as shameful.

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They play the victim.

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Whenever something goes wrong, the narcissist shifts all of the blame to the other person. The other person who may have done one thing wrong allows the narcissist to dump more than their fair share of the responsibility.

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They shift blame.

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In any narcissistic relationship, the narcissist wants to be seen as the adult and the other person as the child. This belittlement is done in several condescending ways such as literally talking down, calling the other person immature, and saying the other person needs to grow up.

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They belittle you.

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It doesn't matter what the religion of the narcissist or the other person is. In every religion, there are a set of standards and expectations. The narcissist will use the other person's religious beliefs to guilt them into acting a certain way.

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They religiously guilt you.​

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The narcissist will use personal attacks to put the other person on the defense. The other person will get so caught up in defending their name or character that they will miss the next attack.

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They claim you're 'too defensive.'

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Instead of talking down (baby talk), the narcissist will talk over the other person's knowledge level. Even if the other person is more intelligent, the narcissist will talk in circles with an air of authority to force the other person into an inferior position.

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They talk above you.

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It doesn't matter what the other person has accomplished; the narcissist did it first, better, and more efficiently.

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They constantly try to outperform you.

Uncomfortable Signs You're Truly Growing As A Person

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