Most of us know that relationships can be very challenging. We generally enter a relationship with many unhealed wounds from childhood and these wounds easily get triggered in committed relationships. Our wounds include both our fear of rejection and our fear of engulfment, and when these fears are activated,
We need to be able to rely on ourselves and each other in order to stay open to learning about our wounds and our resulting controlling protective behaviors.
There is nothing that grinds love down more than controlling behaviors, such as those mentioned above, or behavior that is intent on avoiding your feelings — ignoring your feelings, judging yourself and your partner, or turning to addictions to numb your feelings.
Just as being open to learning is essential in creating a safe relationship space, so is kindness. If you were not brought up with kindness and you've been judgmental with yourself and others rather than kind,
Relationships flourish when loving yourself and your partner is your highest priority. For most people, protecting against pain has been their highest priority, so it takes much practice to successfully make love and kindness a higher priority than avoiding pain.
Relationships flounder when you make your partner your source of love. Your partner isn't supposed to be your higher power — you have your own higher power and this is your infinite source of love.
When your intent is to learn about loving yourself and your partner, and you're open to learning about this with a source of spiritual guidance, you will learn to fill yourself with enough love to share with your partner.
One of the greatest experiences in life is the sharing of love, and this takes time. Learning, growing, intimacy, connection, and passion are the natural results of creating a safe, open, kind and loving relationship space, and all this takes time.
Spending connected time together relaxing, laughing, sharing, and cuddling are essential for creating a long-lasting, thriving loving relationship. Is all this easy? It can be when love is your highest priority. When you fully accept that your reason for being on the planet is to evolve your soul in your ability to love,