I understand how traumatic this experience can be… The moment that you discover that they’re cheating can be suffocating and can lead you down a rabbit hole of emotions if you’re not checking on yourself often.
Your boundaries should be easy for your partner to understand and follow. Be specific about what behaviors are unacceptable and what consequences will result if those boundaries are crossed.
When you’ve cleared the things that are acceptable or not for you, it’s important to enforce your boundaries consistently. If your partner crosses a boundary, follow through with the consequences you outlined for them.
Open communication is essential in any relationship, but even more so after infidelity. You can do this by setting aside some alone time with them to just talk and be present… It’s all about actively listening to each other without judgment!
Let’s be honest about infidelity… It’s not easy. It’s enough to make you want to give up on love and walk away. But I want to suggest a solution. You have all the tools you need to do this right now, right where you are.
After getting professional or spiritual help, it’s time to verbalize your needs so your partner will be reminded about them. I was very clear and direct with my boyfriend about the things that would reassure me and would make me feel secure.
When you’ve done everything you can to remind your partner about what they need to do, it’s time to observe and reflect… Why? So you can check if there’s actually an improvement before you risk wasting your time!
And after doing all these things, and it gets a little overwhelming, remind yourself that it’s an act of self-love. Don’t be afraid to prioritize your own needs and feelings in the relationship.
When I first found out that my boyfriend cheated on me, I got so mad. So mad that I didn’t even know what to say. So mad that I can feel my heart break.