Married life isn't what you thought it would be. You talk about work. You talk about the kids. You talk about rush-hour traffic. But you don’t know how to communicate effectively with your spouse about things that make you a couple.
Do you really want your spouse to talk more…or listen more? Good and effective communication is healthy reciprocity of both. But if you’re feeling locked out of your marriage’s potential because of poor communication, it’s important to be honest about your needs.
Anything can be shared when the environment for sharing is safe. That’s why working with a therapist can create such breakthroughs when you don’t know how to get your spouse to communicate. The absence of communication is often a sign of fear.
We can joke all day about how different men and women are. But if we don’t learn from the differences and apply the lessons, we’re just wasting valuable information.
You are seeking information that will help you know and love your spouse more intimately. You won’t observe or hear the nuances of information if you are simply waiting for your spouse to stop talking so you can say what you want to say.
"Are you OK?" will likely get you a "Yep" in response. "How did you feel listening to the Clarks talk about their retreat?" opens the door to a real discussion.